It’s been a while. I’m not in a hiatus mood but more to losing my grip in life. It has been so tough lately. I don’t even know where to start. There are lots of things going in and out of my mind and its a complete chaos in my head.
I lost interest in things that I love. I abandon my blog. I ditch away my journal.
The worst thing is, I’m back to my old self; back to hell to be exact. I befriend my inner demon.
I let myself down, I care too much about things that bring nothing good to me, I get stressed, I cried a lot, I hurt myself and do all sorts of things that ruin me. It just helpless cause being strong seems to be really hard for me. I still manage to live another day with the little strength that I have.
Despite the bitterness, I’m glad that there is still a light of joy coming in through the little cracks of that broken wall; giving me euphoric feelings. It’s not much but at least it’s better than nothing.
I know I need to fix this. I need to pick myself up again. I need to find back my spirit. I need to reset my life and start a brand new chapter. I have to do it no matter what or I will be stuck here being a loser forever. I need the life plan. I need the courage. I need the confidence. I need the strength. I need all that powerful spell to build myself back.
I know there’s no one can help me cause I need to help myself first,
I gotta pick myself up off the ground.