Here comes the charming October month, where the entire days will be filled with an aesthetic vibes. So good, so calming and insanely melancholic. I often imagine myself taking a serene walk accompanied by the crisp sound of nature. Getting fascinated with the fiery red leaves instead of the prince charming while the cold evening breeze keep wooing and flirting with me. Don’t you think it’s stinking pleasant? Perhaps it might sound ordinary to certain people who normally experience autumn every year but certainly not me. The autumn I had in my country is way too different than those in four seasons country. (oh wait do we have autumn here? it looks all the same to me though)
Well, 2020 has been great to me.
I was engaged in January and got married in August. Needless to say planning the whole ceremony was quite stressful to me due to the deadly pandemic and as well as some personal reasons. But gladly everything went smooth. Alhamdullilah. I’m 26 years old and a sweet-lovely-grumpy-silly-cute wife to ANHBAM! Now everyone is asking me when will I have a baby? It’s a pretty typical question for a newly wed, yes?
I’ve also learned so many things throughout this year. I overcome my silly fear and anxiety. I took a chance and risk my precious introvert bubble. I’m literally in a process of changing myself to be better and I also witness my so-not-very-wonderful growth. Because I still didn’t do it wholly. I’m still a little afraid, a little not confident, a little too anxious. But at least I know I made it. I made a little change to my inner-self. I believe everyone needs a revolution and transformation of themselves. And the main key to this foundation is we need to learn to love, cherish and embrace ourself. That one is pretty much easier said than done cause I know we all love making comparison with others which obviously causing damage to our mental health. Stop that silly attitude and let’s make a wonderful growth together!
How wonderful it would be if we could make all of our wishes and dreams come true? A silly me probably will die due to overload dopamine rush. (read: cause of death is overload happiness because all of her wish comes true) I have endless wish. One of the them is to have an eternal happiness where I don’t have to deal with sadness and wrath no more. I terribly hate it because me being in a stressful and disturbing states gonna affect the people around me. I can’t always pretending and it’s ridiculously exhausting. Sometimes I feel pathetic because the reasons of my agony is myself. I desperately need this wish magically comes true.
Life is fun yet very adventurous and surprising. Love yourself, embrace yourself, cherish yourself. Be kind to everyone.
I hope all of us will have an eternal happiness. And all our wishes do come true.